Solitude
by Atiannala
Summary: Snape's view of his sixth year and some very umm...intresting events that will happen. has angst and will have romance...and more angst. read it, it'll be fun i promise!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer:  I don't own this, nope nothing.

Dark Nights

            The room was dark and the moldy wet smell filled my nostrils making me feel sick.   I could hear the rain crashing against the roof of my room that had once been an attic.  There was nothing in my small room except for a bed, a bed side table with one candle, and an old and battered trunk that held my supplies for Hogwarts my school.

            As I was in the highest room in the whole house, the pouring rain beat against my roof painfully loud keeping me awake.  Yet over the sound of the vociferous rain, I could hear the screams of my father who most of the time seemed indifferent to my existence.    

            Rolling over onto my shoulder, I concentrated on the sounds that came from below me, rather than the ones from above.  Judging from the noise, my father had come home drunk once again and was yelling at my mother for some lame reason he invented simply to be able to yell.  There was a distinct sound of china breaking followed by the painful sounds of female wailing and I was sure that my mother had been hit by the china.  

            The screaming went on for what I assumed was just under an hour when it suddenly stopped.  I knew that this meant my father had passed out and wouldn't awake until sometime late the next day.  The stairs began creaking as my mother began to walk up the stairs to her bed room.  I could not hear it but I was sure she was still crying.

            I felt really sorry for my mother at times, for she really was quite young and pretty; having rather pale skin, but black hair and eyes that were almost the same shade.  She was a petite woman and I was certain that she could have found a wizard that would treat her nice.  But so clouded was her mind from memories of the days before my father became a drunk slob, that she could not bring herself to leave him.  

            If it had been up to my mother, I was almost sure that I would have had a room in the real part of the house, not up here where I practically did not exist.  I was my mother's only son and I could tell that she did love me greatly, but it was my birth that had almost killed my mother.

            Once a long time ago, my parents had been in love.  They went to the same school I do now, and they meet their first year when they had both, like myself, been sorted into Slytherin.  Child hood sweet hearts, that's what they were.  They got married one month after graduation, and nine months later waited in the delivery room at St. Mungo's for me.  But the labor was hard on my mother and most doctors believed that she wouldn't live.  

            However, by some miracle, my mother managed to hold on to her life, yet she never fully regained her strength.  The strength being taken from her, she could not care for me properly as it does take a lot to care for a baby.  My father hired a nanny for me until I was able to walk and talk, and be at least somewhat self reliant.  Yet as I remained my mother's only son, I would awake in the middle of the night to find my mother's sad eyes watching over me.

            I suppose that you could say that the birth had left me somewhat deprived of strength as well.  I was a sickly baby, and as a small child I was not able to romp about as most other children could.  The proud feeling that fills a man when he became father to a son, soon left my father when he found out that I was sickly.  I had disgraced him and I would never make him proud.  How could I, being as he called me, "a mere shell of a boy"?  

            It was soon after this, when I was about six, that he fired my nanny, and removed me to this room here in the attic and forbid my mother to visit me.  This I knew broke her heart even more; she became depressed and did nothing but sit around and stare out the window wondering what happened to the happy days of her life.

            This turn did not sit well with my father, and it made him angry.  He now had a son who would never amount to anything and a wife that could do naught but sit and mope about her son.  Yet he refused to believe that he had a hand in the situation that we were in; my father needed someone to blame for everything, and he blamed us.  It was then that he began drinking, and the drink turned his anger into violence.  From the little bit I did see of my mother, she was never without bruises.  On nights when he was really angry, he remembered he had a son and would climb up to the attic to punish me.  

            I remember nights where I would lay awake in my bed waiting for my father to come home, anticipating who would receive the worst of it that night.   It was fear that kept me from sleep and fear that reigned my meek existence.  

            There was one good thing about my father's addiction however; when y father passed out, it was safe for my mother to come and visit me in my hole up in the attic.  It was only then that I began to know my child-like mother.  But she made excuses for my father, seemed to think that she really was to blame.  I listened to it until I was old enough to know better, to know what my father did was wrong and that it was no one's fault but his.  

            In these visits, I grew to love and pity my mother, yet sometimes I wondered why she would stay and let us suffer like we did.  But these thoughts I quickly removed from my thoughts, and held on to the one person I had in the world: my mother.  

            Again I heard the sounds of my mother's light foot steps on the stairs and I knew she was coming to see me.  For a moment I played with the idea of feigning sleep, but decided against this in the end.  My door opened slowly and my mom stepped into my room.

            She looked at me.  "You still awake?"

            I nodded as I sat up, but I could not speak, for my mother was covered in fresh bruises and had cuts all over her arms and one even on the side of her head where her hair started.  Finally, I found my voice.  "Mother?"  I said truly horrified, and she began to cry.

            "Oh, Severus!" she said through her tears as she crossed the room to my bed.  Quickly I wrapped my arms around my mother and let her cry on my shoulder.  I held her as she cried herself to sleep on my shoulder.  Then I enchanted her body so that I could bring it down to her own bed; even at sixteen, I had not the strength to carry the small body of my mother, but what I lacked in physical strength, I more than made up in my magical abilities.  

            When I returned to my room and sat once again upon my bed, I began to feel guilty for what would happen next week.  Once again I would be leaving to go to school, and my mother would be alone.  Not that it really helped having me home what with me being so small an all, but it made me sick to feel like I did not know what was happening.  

            I didn't really like going to school in any case. I had no real friends there and there were people like James and Sirius who liked to show off by cursing me simply because I was small.  When the other kids looked at me they saw just a scrawny little boy with greasy hair and a large nose.  No girl ever looked at me the way they looked at Sirius and James, and they probably never would.  

            But that was all just fine by me, for I didn't need anybody.  I had gone through the greater part of childhood alone, and I could be alone as long as I lived.  I didn't care; people weren't my specialty.  I liked my books and magic, the only things that were truly reliable in this world.  

            I must have drifted off some time that night without realizing it because I was woken late the next after noon by my bed room door being shoved open so hard that I was surprised that it didn't fall off it's hinges.  

            Looking up I saw my father standing at the entrance of my meager room.  A cold fear swept over me at the recognition of my father's menacing presence.  But he did a most unusual thing that added confusion to my fear.  He looked me straight in the eye and said gruffly, "Get dressed!  Be down stairs in five minutes!  We have somewhere to go."

            Then he turned and slammed my door so hard that it made the walls shake.  I began to get dressed imagining in my mind all the horrible places he could be planning on taking me to, and the unspeakable things that he planned to do.  But I was never prepared for what was to come.  

@@@@@@@@@@@

And this is my first fic with Snape and my first fic in first person!  So let me know how I'm doing!  I am not quite sure how this held up, so tell me, I have a terrible fear of first person and I want to know if it totally sucked.  

This chapter was short but I promise the next is going to get longer!  I just wanted to finish this and post it before school starts (tomorrow yick!)  but its my last year of high school woot! 

I decided to write this because I didn't like Snape at all up until the fifth book  and then I was like well he really is a sympathetic character, so I decided to write about him now.  I am planning on making it angsty and I actually thing that I am going to throw in come romance.  My brain has now formulated a real plot!  Excellent!  Okay, well how was it?

Please review!  

~Atiannala


	2. Dark Changes

Oh blorg!!  I just got a conditional for not having my shirt tucked in!  Stupid private school!   Curse you aqua scum!!  Needless to say I'm angry.  

Disclaimer: six stories and it's still not mine!

Dark Changes

            I went to my closet and pulled it open and sneezed.  Attics had a nasty habit of collecting dust rather efficiently.  Deciding what to wear was never a problem, all my clothes were black, the way I liked them.  Pulling them on quickly I didn't even bother running a comb through my hair.  

            If there was one thing I resented about myself, it was my hair.  It was the same as my fathers, black and oily.  It didn't help things that I was only allowed out of my room at certain times and there was no shower in the attic.  Well, if that is how things were, I wasn't in any mood to make myself presentable.  

            The stairs creaked loudly as I made my way down, and soon I ended up on the second story.  The muffled sounds of my mother's sobbing reached me as I passed by her room.  There wasn't any screaming since last night, what could have her so upset?  But another noise came from down in the living room telling me that my father was growing impatient.  

            It was a necessity to press on.  But when I reached the top of the stairs, a feeling in the pit of my stomach made me stop.  It may have been my unsettled feeling at what would happen, or maybe it was simply that I had not freely entered this part of the house for as long as I could remember.  What ever it was, it had to be ignored; I had to go.

            I took a deep breath and began my descent.   

            We went through the fire place and ended up in a dark room.  The only light in the room came from the full moon shining outside the window.  It was an eerie place filled with a heavy silence.  

            Suddenly a shrill yet powerful voice pierced the silence.  "Come forward…in to the light."

            Suddenly a large hand pushed me forward and I fell into the patch of moonlight on the floor.  I could feel eyes watching me from around the room, but the pair right in front of me felt as if they saw past me and into the depths of my mind.  

            The voice that had spoke before spoke now again, but in my thoughts.

            "You are small, and meek.  You hate the life into which you were born, and have a repressed thirst for vengeance.  Interesting."

            Confusion filled me along with terror.  

            "Don't worry child," the cryptic voice said through my mind, "I won't _hurt you; I just want to __help you.  You want that don't you; to be strong, to defend yourself?  Yessss, I can see you do.  You could be great you know?  Great, powerful, people will bow to you as they bow to me."  _

            My head had begun to spin, I could focus on nothing but the voice; it was beautiful, promising.  It felt as if the voice was part of me; running through my mind and touching my spirit.  Power, strength, every word sounded…pretty.  So pretty, and hopeful.  

            "Yess-ss! You like this don't you?  You want me to help you?"

            I could do nothing to agree, but I felt myself willing this, and hoping he would.  A figure appeared before me, cloaked in black, face hidden in darkness.  

            "Give me your arm," this voice was not in my head.  It was everywhere, but it was right in front of me.  I felt my arm reach out in front of me but I don't remember having any control of where it was going; it was as if some outside force was compelling my arm to move.  

            An icy hand pushed up my sleeve and suddenly made contact with my flesh.  Chills pierced through me, emanating from this place of contact.  And still I was not in control, could not choose what to do.  And yet, I was perfectly happy, content to let this voice control me for the rest of my life.  I trusted the voice; I loved the voice.  It was full of promises and strength much grater than my own and it filled me making me, for the first time, happy.  

            And here I stayed in this one blissful moment for what felt like and eternity; but suddenly I was overcome by a pain.  Pain, agonizing and terrible.  It ripped through my arm and burned my flesh.  Yet it did so much more.  It pierced my mind filling me with terror and fear, guilt and sorrow, anger and hate.  And all the while a terrible din of shouting and voices rang through my brain disrupting any semblance of thought.  

            In this agonizing pain I remained for a few moments.  Then as suddenly as it came, it was gone and I was filled with nothing.  

            The next few minutes were lost to me and the next thing I could remember was lying on the floor and opening my eyes.  For a moment I considered that I had gone blind, as even the light from the moon did not shine through the black gloom that surrounded me.  What happened?

            Somewhere a dog howled and the cloud fell away from the cover of the moon.  I rolled over onto my side and looked around the room.  At first there as nothing to see; but then a tall figure stepped into the light.  

            "Welcome."

@@@@@@@@@@

            Yea it's short, but anything more switches into a new chapter and I wanted to keep this as a separate entity.  I'll make the next one long, but this felt like a place to end it.  And now, I must go to Calculus BC!  I heart that class!  We only have to go Tuesdays and Thursdays.  So it is wonderful!  It's glorious!!  Well I will update now.

I love you all!  Review!

~Atiannala


	3. The Next Day

Disclaimer:  I do not own this okay?

The Next Day

            Slightly shaken I sat up from where I lay on the floor covered in sweat.  Many things were happening, but my mind could make sense of little that was going on around me.  The world was dark, of that much I was sure.  Slowly, the din that had been nuzzling around my head began to make sense and figures began to form before my blurred eyes.  

            When the world again made sense, I saw the hooded figure standing before me.  The voice that had once spoken in my head returned again.  

            "Welcome child," the words danced across my brain.  "How do you feel?"

            How did I feel?  Dizzy that was for certain, but what else?  I closed my eyes and focused on my inner self.  There was something there that I had never known before, something that was not me.  This presence mixed with my own and I felt great, powerful…dangerous.  

            A chuckle resounded through my head as the cloaked figure offered a hand to help me stand up.  Then his cold hand met the burning flesh of my forehead.  I found my self pushed at what I presumed to be my father.  

            "Take him home, let him rest; when I need him, he will know."

            A laugh ran through me full of malice and destruction.  I can remember being ushered towards a fire place, and everything around me turned green.  The next thing I knew it was dark.  

            A squeaking sound and a faint light told me that my bedroom door was opening.  A figure came into my room and looked upon me while I was sleeping.  I had no desire to open my eyes, I only wanted to sleep.  However, I did wish to see who it was that was disturbing my slumber.  I only opened my eyes a sliver, but it was enough to discern that it was my mother who stood in the room.  She stayed for a moment, but then she left shutting the door with her, and the light was gone.  

            I tried to return to my sleep, but a pain in my left arm was prohibiting me from doing so.  As I was roused more and more into consciousness, I became aware of the fact that I was wearing my full robes and not my night clothes.  Try as I might I could not remember the events of the night before.  As I had never before been drunk, I doubted that this was the case.  Sitting up, I could feel my tangled hair as it fell around my face.  

            Deciding that it was beyond time to put on my night clothes, I pulled my self reluctantly out of my bed.  I pulled my robe off over my head, and in the mirror I could see my scrawny limbs sticking out from my small body.  If there was one thing I hated it was my body.  My knees were dangerously close to being wider than my legs and my ribcage showed through my torso.  Skinny, pale, there wasn't one thing about myself that was appealing, but it was beyond my caring now.  It didn't matter.  

            It was then I realized, in the dim light of my bedroom, the dark spot on my left fore arm.  I turned my eyes away from my mirror and looked at my arm; things came rushing back at me too quickly to comprehend.  I remembered: the voice, the safety, the pain.  The memories that had been hidden returned to my thoughts yet I knew not what exactly I had done.  Young and naïve, I looked at it as a blessing.  I was going to get help, I would be strong.  

            My bedroom door opened rather quickly turning me from my thoughts.  As I stood their clad only in my underpants my father entered my room.  Too stunned at the appearance of my father in my room, I had no time to feel embarrassed at being undressed.   That is until I saw my father recoil at the sight of my small frame.  

            He covered quickly and said, "Get dressed," in his deep and terse voice before closing my door as roughly as he had opened it.  

            My gaze once again turned to the mirror.  I straightened myself up and brushed the hair back out of my eyes.  Some how, I knew that things would be different now.  I was going to be alright.  

            Taking a sigh, I headed to my closet and pulled out a clean robe and dressed.  There was an odd feeling inside of me as I dressed that morning.  I felt compelled to look once again into the mirror.  With clothes hiding my measly stature, I felt better already.  I examined myself carefully, as I never had before.  For some reason, it had always repulsed me to watch myself in the mirror, yet today, I could not stop.  My hair had grown to an unusual length over the summer and was presently touching the back of my shoulders.  

            An idea came slowly to me and I reached inside my dresser for a comb.  I brushed through my tangles and pulled my hair into a pony tail at the base of my neck.  I don't exactly know why, but it made me look more dignified.  It even occurred to me that if I could gain a little weight, I might actually not look that bad.  Realizing the amount of time I had let slip by me, I hurried down the stairs into the house.  

            Much to my surprise, I found that there was a breakfast sitting on the table in the kitchen.  Disbelief held me from going to it and eating; cautiously I looked up at my father.  

            "Eat, we have to go soon."

            _Go?  Again?  I had never been invited to go anywhere with my father before yesterday, and now he had asked me again.  I could feel the pacing of my heart increase.  Who knew where we would go; who knew if it was bad or good.  All I knew was that it was different.  _

            While I sat and ate, I could feel my father standing close behind me.  And then, in a strange manner, his large hand clasped my shoulder causing me to jump slightly.  This first fatherly gesture shown to me- instead of causing comfort- threw chills down my spine.  I had the distinct feeling that something awful had begun, although at the time, I did not understand it.  

            Once I had finished breakfasting, my father pulled me again to the fire place.  I began to fear that we might be going to the place where we had been the night before when he informed me that we were going to go to Diagon Alley.  

            It was a strange thing to accompany my father on this visit; I had never before been allowed to go and get my school things.  The best that I could figure was that what had happened last night- what ever it had been- had raised me in my father's favor.  This was something with which I could deal.  Feeling slightly important, I strode into the fire place and headed off to Diagon Alley.  

            I had only been here once or twice with my mother when my father had been working, and I had never been able to go to most of the stores that I had wanted.  But when I had been here, my mother had bought me ice cream.  The memory filled me with nostalgia as I remembered one of the only happy times of my childhood.  I had not seen my mother all morning when I ate which was a very strange thing.  However I had no time to ponder this as my father emerged from behind me and began to do a once over checking me for soot.  

            We began to move down the streets and throughout the various shops.  Every where you turned there were children buying thing for school, and adults frantically trying to control their smallest of children.  It occurred to me that soon, I would be out of school and could begin my own life.  I rather doubted that there would be any one who wanted to spend the rest of their life with me, but I could at least be away from my accursed home and do things in my way.  

            My father and I progressed through the streets and into the robe shop.  As I would be graduating this year, I would need new robes to wear for the reception.  My father led me to the tailor who was to measure me.  I was actually having robes made for me!  The overnight change that had come to my life was bewildering and I could not grow accustom to the idea.  

            While the tailor was measuring the distance between my shoulders, a tall blond man walked proudly into the shop.  He appeared to know my father well as he immediately strode over to where we stood and began talking to him.  

            "Vlad, allow me to introduce you to my son, Severus," my father began as he made a presenting motion to me, "Severus, this is Vladimir Malfoy."  I stuck my hand out as manners would have me do, but my hand was not received.  Malfoy was giving me a careful inspection.  Finally he spoke- 

            "A little small yet, but that will change now wont it?"  His smile hid something manic, like one which is concealing something wonderfully important.  "I daresay he will lose his meek appearance before the end.  I am sure Lucius will help him to learn the ropes of his new" he smirked "…endeavor."  

I wasn't quite sure what all of it meant, but I knew that somehow, people would begin to look at me differently.  I had been in the same house as Lucius Malfoy for six years and he hadn't even taken notice of me, and now he was going to show me the ropes of- well of what had no matter to me then.  Any thing that changed things this much was golden as far as I was concerned.  

When I had finished being measured, I found my father still speaking with Mister Malfoy.  I did not wish to disturb the conversation, so I stood there for a moment.  When my father noticed me, he handed me a bag of money and told me to go pick up my books.  Shock again took me as I headed out of the store with a money bag in my robe pocket.  I smiled; a rare occurrence.  

There was something mysterious about the book store that held me.  I began to feel that I could lose myself here for hours as I had oft done in the library of school.  All the books that I needed were set up front, but for some reason, I found myself wandering to the older books at the back.  Somehow my body knew exactly where I was going although my mind had no idea.  But I found myself in front of a certain book reaching my hand up to grab the ancient spine.  

The front cover of the book was decorated with a multitude of symbols, and in the center there was a large eye.  I could not tear my eyes away from the old cover.  But then, something strange happened.  The eye winked at me and the book was no longer in my hands.  Perplexed as I was, I began to back away from spot where I had stood a moment before holding the book.  It had just disappeared into thin air!  It just…it was there and then-

My back collided with something hard what ever it was said, "Oh!"  I turned around to see a brunette that had fallen to the floor.  Immediately rushed to her side to help her stand up; despite my sour disposition, I wasn't a prick.  

"Oh Gods!  I'm sorry!" I said while grabbing the girl's elbows and helping her to stand.  She began to turn to see what she had collided into and I was captivated by her radiant blue eyes.  In that moment time stopped and nothing existed except me and this girl.  We were the universe; we were everything and nothing else mattered.  

However, we were still in the process of standing p and this impeded our progress.  It was not long before we had both now fallen to the floor; she falling on top of me, but the intensity of her eyes never leaving my own.  Slowly this time we helped each other to stand.  When we had finally risen, I was not sure if what I was standing on was solid ground; I felt that it might give way under my feet at any moment.  

For one glorious moment the two of us stood, hands held eyes locked.  And in this one simple moment I was filled with a kind of captivation that had of yet been foreign to me.  I knew not, why I stood there or why the world seemed to stop spinning.  All I knew was that it had and I was better for it.  It may have been a figment of my imagination, or a mere projection of my will, but it appeared that the distance between our lips was slowly getting smaller and smaller.  It seemed that we would have no choice but to collide if we carried on like we were, but for some reason, I wanted to collide.  To get as close as possible.  

"Emma!"  the single word interrupted our connection and brought me back to reality.  I was still holding the girl's hands.  She looked up at me pleadingly, but for what I could not be sure.  I felt her squeeze my hands before she dropped them and backed away.  "Good bye," she whispered before turning and leaving me.   And all I could do was watch her, the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.  

"Wait!"  I was again beginning to collect my thoughts, but it appeared too late.  My hand fell to my side as I watched the girl leave, and to myself muttered, "Goodbye, Emma."

@@@@@@@@@@

I am ending the chapter here!!!  Not over there!!!   I am hyper and in dance class so I have to tell you that this was fun, I have lots of plot for this story and it excites me.  but I will write Moonlight tomorrow, and there will be  sooner updates now, I promise!!!  Okay so I must go now, but this will be up again by next week, and then I will post moonlight by tomorrow or the next day.  Read lost its fun!  But it's a play!  If u really wanna make me happy read Façade, its very angsty and it is complete!

I love all of u guys!!  U make me really happy, and now I have to go and write more for you guys!  Bye!  I love you!!


	4. Welcome to the New World

Disclaimer:  you see, technically, I own nothing.  

AN// this chapter was short so you get two for one!

Welcome to the New World

            As I watched her go, life began to resume around me.  People again began to walk around the store; small children tugged on their mother's skirts; teenagers looked for their school idems.  Life once again began to happen.  I stood amongst the din feeling like I might now be the one not living.  

            Who was she and where could I find her again?  _Emma.  I said the name over and over in my mind.  _Emma._  I loved it; it was beautiful.  I made up my mind then and there that I was going to find her again if it took all my life.  _

            When I was finally able to return to normal I busied myself with gathering my school supplies.  Eventually I had all that I needed and I was ready to go.  I quickly paid and left the shop, my eyes dancing up and down the street looking for the beautiful girl I had seen.  But I had no such luck.  Actually I had the opposite of luck-

            In my distraction, I found that soon I collided with something hard and was pulled into an alley way.  Struggling to pull my self back, I found that I was wedged between a wall and Sirius Black.  My heart sank and my stomach turned over.  

            "Look what I found Prongs!"  

            I opened my mouth to insult the bastard, but no sound came out.  Black of course thought this the funniest of things.  "Cat got your tongue, Snivellus?"  

            I was standing in an empty alley way, face to face with one no make that two of my biggest rivals, was completely unable to talk, and had no way to grab my wand.  A  fear over took me.  

            "Well, well, well Padfoot, what do we have here?"   

            And then they started to place an array of hexes and curses upon me while I was entirely defenseless.  Eventually a hard surface collided with my knees and I realized that I was on the floor.  Everything was hurting and all I could hear was the manic laughs of my aggressors.    Everything began to get dark, but then a high pitched voice cut through my agony.

            "James?"

            "Oy!  Padfoot!  Let's go!  It's Lilly," then he turned to me, "We'll finish this later!"  

            Once both boys had completely left me in the deserted alley, I fell over onto my side breathing hard still unable to speak.  

            "Get up!" the voice was cold and harbored no emotion other than disgust.  

            Fearing what malicious intent was hidden behind that voice; I stood slowly and turned to face this new doom.  What I ended up facing was a tall blond boy who, although a great deal bigger than I, was about my own age.   I knew him right away- Lucius.  

            He began to circle me, eyeing me up and down.  "So you're the new kid, huh?  Scrawny aren't we?"  

            My inability to answer seemed to irk him.  

            "Answer me!" he shouted as I again felt my body colliding with the hard surface of the wall.  "Well, can't you talk?" he demanded as I continued my silence.  I shook my head no.  "Wise guy huh?"  I shook my head again.  "Speak then!"  

            After a moment, I think he realized that I was unable to speak and he lifted my curse.  "Th-thanks." my shaky voice stuttered.  

            He laughed; it was a mocking condescending tone.  I felt shamed.  "Stand up straight!"  I did.  "We have a lot of work to do.  A lot of work!  But we'll fix you up enough for the Dark Lord."  He was circling me again making me feel rather exposed.  Then he clasped his hands on my shoulders and pulled me close to him so that his mouth was closed to my ear and he whispered, "Welcome to the new world."

            I stared at him confused as he drew away from me.  "Your training starts tomorrow, after the feast."  Then he turned and left me again alone in the darkness.  

            I was sounded by darkness entirely.  There was no light at all; not even the light of the stars shone through to my room.  Tonight was the last night I would spend in this room before I began my final year at Hogwarts.  Hopefully that would mean the last night I spent in this room ever.  

            The world was quiet; eerily so.  As if it knew that something were about to happen that all wizard kind would regret forever, or maybe I would regret forever.  

            I lay there that night, in my small bed, thinking about school and the mysterious brunette of that morning when I was overtaken by a burning sensation in my left fore arm.  I pulled back at my night clothes to look at the mark on my arm.  My lord was with me, I could feel him.   I closed my eyes and slept feeling the security that stemmed from my left arm.  

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

The Hogwarts Express

            I woke early the next morning so that I would not be late for my train.  The train would leave promptly at eleven and I did not want to find out what happened when you reached the barrier at eleven o' one.  I dressed quickly, in black, and hurried down to breakfast.  I couldn't help being rather excited as I felt this year would be different; this year would be good.  

            Later that day I bid an unemotional farewell to my father and got on the train.  My mother could not come with us to the train station; she was still feeling ill.  I did miss her presence.  She was the only one who actually cared that I was leaving.  There was a strange absence in me, yet I ignored it.  

            Soon enough, I found myself in an empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express.  Slouching down, I had my knees drawn up to my chest and my elbows on the seat beside me as I lay across the seats.  I was alone but I didn't care.  Shortly after I arrived, trees and other shrubbery began to breeze by my window.  As I watched them go, two gruff voices began chatting outside my compartment.  

            "Prongs, my _deer_ fellow, what shall we do for some entertainment on this trip?"

            "Oh, I dunno, Padfoot, where is Snivellus?"

            My stomach tightened; _Oh no!_  Through the translucent window, I could see the silhouettes of two boys approaching me.  I knew that nothing good was going to come of this.  I began to brace myself for what was to come-

            "Hey guys!"  

            "Moony!"

            Apparently the prefects meeting was over.  The three boys walked away from my compartment and I thanked whatever gods happened to be watching me at that moment.  They were gone.  

            Relieved by the fact that I might make it through the ride with out any disturbances, I allowed my eyes to close and my consciousness to abscond me.  

Dreams did not come to me while I slept but the feeling of being watched played with my mind and roused me from my sleep.  When it finally became too much, I opened my eyes and I realized that I was not alone.  

A tall blond boy watched me condescendingly.  "Good sleep little one?"  His mouth twisted into a wry smirk and let out a throaty laugh.  "Rest up," he said as he stood and walked towards the exit.  "I daresay you'll need it."  

With that he left me again to my own devices.  The rest of the ride passed slowly and it wasn't until I was getting off the train that something interesting happened-

When I stepped of the train, I began to look for a carriage to sit in.  I don't know what possessed me to do it, but for some reason I found myself turning and looking towards the train one last time.  

My eyes lingered on the door, and just when I was about to look away, she walked through-

She was there in all her radiant splendor, and there I stood captivated by her beauty.  I watched as she climbed down the stairs, and I kept my eyes on her until I could no longer see her in the crowd.  She was here; here with me!  Something inside of me was singing and dancing like a happy child, but my body appeared outwardly calm. She was here!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

this completes phase one of this operation, next chapter begins phase two.  With that one, I can give you quite a long chapter!   Promise!  It ought to be up some time next week!  Hope u enjoyed this!

Thanks to all of my wonderful reviewers!  U guys rock my world!  Ur the best thing ever!!  N I do mean Ever!!!

Chow for now!  Don't forget to review!  the amount of reviews from last chapter was less than normal, and it made me sad, but if people don't review, I'll assume the story is crap and I wont continue.  It's a shame too, b/c I had finally moved from exposition and was going to begin my action now!  But I gotta run SATs u know?

Bye!!

~Atiannala~ 


End file.
